Time for a Restart?

    Sometimes we start over on a project because we want to….unsatisfied with the way it is going. Other times we start over because we have to...like  when we forget to save a document and the computer freezes. Sometimes we should start over but don’t.
    Timanthes was an aspiring Greek artist in the Roman era. While studying under a well respected tutor, he was nearing completion of a major painting when upon arriving in the morning, he found the canvas blotted out with paint. Enraged, he confronted his teacher who admitted destroying his work. He said, “You were spending so much time admiring what you had done that you were no longer improving. This was a great painting for some, but not for you. You can do much better.”
    Timanthes went to work, energized with his anger. But his mentor was right. The new and improved product became one of the best known works of antiquity, “Sacrifice of Iphigenia.” Thanks to a little known art teacher who insisted that his student start over.
    This time of year, we think a lot about the past and the future. The networks carry programs reviewing highlights and low points of the previous year. People talk about resolutions and goals.
    But for some, this could be an opportunity for a restart.
    I’m not advocating quitting your job, marriage, ditching your kids, or nothing of the sort. But you can have a new marriage, new kids, new job, etc., by restarting yourself. Restart with the kind of husband/wife you are, relearn your parenting, rebrand your reputation at work…. The best restarts are taking fresh looks at ourselves and approaching our existing circumstances from a new perspective, renewed insight, reinvigorated energy, and maybe most importantly, a readjusted attitude.
    I’m not talking about turning over a new leaf. The trouble there is that the bottom side of the leaf is not better than the top. I’m talking about approaching every aspect of our lives from God’s perspective, doing things His way, looking for and listening to His counsel, and trusting Him enough to follow it. As Paul put it, “taking off the old and putting on the new” (Eph. 4:22-24).
    See yourself in a different way. If you have put on Christ, you are no longer an addict, you are a child of God. You are no longer a nagging wife, you are a representative of Jesus to your family. You are no longer the negative critic at work, you are a servant of the Lord.
    Maybe 2012 could be the year of change for you. Is it time for a restart?
    “Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:22-24).

What Is Christmas Magic?

    We all have Christmas memories. Mine are probably as varied as yours. Lots of happy ones, and some lonely ones.
    One year while in college, I did not have a home to go back to. I stayed in one of the dorms my college made available for overseas students during Christmas break. While lots of friends invited me to join their families, I decided to work as many hours as I could and declined the invitations. One of the jobs I had was working as a night watchman for a factory located in a nearby small town. I put in for a twelve hour shift from Christmas Eve through Christmas morning to get the overtime pay, and not surprisingly, got it. I thought it might also help take my mind off of it, being Christmas and the fact that I was alone.
    That night, while making my hourly rounds, I had to walk an outdoor stretch where the plant bordered a neighborhood. I’ll never forget seeing through one of the house windows, a mom and dad making their way down the stairway loaded with gifts in their arms to sneak under the tree. I smiled, and remembered the excitement I felt as a child on Christmas morning. I thought about how when I was young, I’d be getting up soon (we were always awake before dawn on that morning!).
    Excitement was in the air, at least for a few hours between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. But I’m not sure it was a good excitement. The delight I felt was pretty self-centered. I was thinking about what Santa Claus was bringing me. I was eager to find out what I was getting, I wasn’t even all that interested in what my siblings were getting. It was all about me.
    I’m afraid that while the Christmas story is the greatest example of selfless love, it conjures what is often described as a magical feeling, but is based on a lot of selfishness. Maybe we adults have grown out of that and it is fun for us to give to our kids, and one another. But I’m afraid we tend to teach our children a faulty message regarding the joy of Christmas. How many of them are as excited about Jesus’ birth as they are about Santa Claus?
    I’m not trying to pick on Santa. If you want my opinion on this legend and whether or not we should pass it on to our kids check out my blog from November 29, 2009. I just want to encourage you to focus on Jesus. Find some creative things to involve your kids in serving others. Of course, give them gifts, but teach them to be happy for their siblings in what they receive, and through it all, to be a blessing to others. Also, to take the time to tell all of the wonderful stories of Christmas found in Matthew and Luke’s accounts. Let’s raise our kids to be more excited about giving then about getting, and especially the meaning of God’s precious gift, His Son Jesus!
    Isn’t that what Jesus taught? (Acts 20:35)

Seventy Years Ago Today

    Seventy years ago this morning, as I am writing this, the United States was thrust into world power status via a surprise attack that almost devastated her Navy. It was a horrible day. Thousands lost their lives. Many thousands more lost their loved ones. With untold millions of dollars worth of equipment, buildings, ships and airplanes destroyed, especially at the tail end of The Great Depression, the attacking nation had hoped the US military would be relegated to a minor threat to their expansion plans.
    Instead, America emerged as a world power.
    I know that there are crazy web sites out their propagandizing loony conspiracy theory claims that Roosevelt knew the attack was coming and kept it quiet in order to get us into the war. But the truth is, it was a complete and total surprise. Should we have known? Maybe. Were there indicators? Some. But let’s give these intelligence collectors some space. It’s not easy sifting through, filtering and categorizing reports in such a way that a pattern emerges clear enough to predict what an enemy might be doing. This was a surprise attack. It was somewhat successful. But in the end, it brought about Japan’s (and Germany’s) downfall. It energized America’s resolve for self-preservation and justice. The entire nation came together and soundly defeated evil attempts at world domination.
    Before Pearl Harbor, we were a militarily isolated and economically depressed nation. Four years later, we emerged as the strongest and  wealthiest nation on the planet, by far. For decades to come, the world looked to the United States for protection and economic leadership.
    Surprise attacks are inevitable. By saying that, you would think they would not be surprises. But they are. We know they are out there and that attacks will come, but we never know when, where or how. Since they always occur when we “least expect it”, you’d think during those times we expect it least, we would be on guard. But then, that wouldn’t be a time we would least expect it anymore.
    Surprise attacks against us spiritually are also inevitable. Peter warned us, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8 ESV). So while we do not know just when, where, and exactly how, we can be prepared. In 2 Corinthians 2:11, The Apostle Paul reminds the readers that we are aware of the schemes of the devil, and he warns them to therefore not be “outwitted” by him. In Ephesians 6, he tells us how we can be prepared, “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil” (Ephesians 6:11 ESV). He then went on to describe that armor, as being our assurance of salvation, knowing and using God’s Word, growing in faith, staying mindful of what is true and resisting lies, sharing the Gospel with others, and with it all, praying constantly. In doing so, surprise attacks will still come, but they need not blindside us. We know Satan is out there, and we can be more than adequately prepared for inevitable war, if we are walking with God!
    Just like the end result of Pearl Harbor, those attacks from Satan can ultimately lead to our greatest victories and strengthen us as the citizens of heaven. Maybe that’s why James said, “Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various [temptations]” (James 1:2 HCSB).

Are The Side Effects Worth the Cure?

    I read a spoof article today, announcing a new drug that is supposedly now on the market, promising a cure for the common cold. Within 6 hours, all cold symptoms will be gone and the underlying virus will be eradicated. A spokesperson for the company was quoted as saying, “We’re excited and happy to do the public some good.” But then the article went on to explain that as with all medications, there are some side effects. Here are some associated with this new miracle drug:

• Head and body hair self-igniting
• Vomiting while sleeping
• Toe-nails, finger-nails, and skin falling off
• Urge to throw boss out the window
• Inability to determine left from right
• Craving for fried guinea pig

    But the article closes with, “But your cold will be gone!”
    Hahahaha! Sometimes the trade-off is not worth it. Yes, you can manipulate situations and often ultimately get the things you are sure you must have. But will it be worth it?
    Will having a husband or wife be worthwhile if you have to ignore Scripture and marry a non-Christian to get one? Not five years down the road! Will overseeing a thriving business be all that great if you have to sacrifice principles, or your family, in order to make it happen? Will having an academic scholarship really be worthwhile if you have to compromise your integrity and cheat on a few tests in order to get those grades?
    Maybe the side effects of some of these manipulations should be published. If they were, what would they be?

• Inability to sleep
• Weighted down with guilt
• Kids who have nothing to do with you
• Struggle to look people in the eye
• Loss of ability to determine right from wrong
• Forfeiture of reputation

    We could name many more.
    Temptation is like the above spoof. It always promises something good. But when you get whatever that good is, you’ll wish you were dead!
    It just isn’t worth it. God knows best. He knows you better than you know yourself. He knows what will bring you up and what will bring you down. Doing things His way will always be better. Manipulating situations and doing things outside of God’s boundaries will always hurt us in the end. And the side effects of following His principles are even better than the end result!
    Do it God’s way!

Water Is Poison?

    A middle school student in Idaho won first prize in a project he did for his school’s science fair. He wanted to show how conditioned Americans have become to accept junk science without thinking through published studies or their conclusions. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide."
    Before asking them to sign the petition, he showed them the dangers associated with this chemical.  They are broad and apparently threatening:
        •  It can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
        •  It is a major component in acid rain
        •  It can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
        •  Inhalation can kill you
        •  It contributes to erosion
        •  Decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
        •  It has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients
    The student asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. Forty-three (43) said yes, six (6) were undecided, and only one (1) knew that the chemical was water.
    When you think about it, the inherent dangers of water can put a lot of things in perspective. Not only is water a good thing, it is necessary for life! But just like all good things, there are risks, downsides, and negative associations with just about anything in life. It’s what you do with water that matters. How we use what we have been given and how we respond to circumstances we face is far more important than what those circumstances are at face value. A destructive experience for one person is the catalyst for success for another.
    Two fathers in the same town with similar families and life circumstances faced a similar trial. Both received word from a mutual friend that their junior high boys were involved in some mild illegal activity (if there is such a thing). How the two fathers responded made a lasting difference.
    The first father saw the crisis as an opportunity to make changes in his own schedule choices to give his son more time, and to become more involved in his life, talking regularly about his values and the things in life that are important. The other father blew his top, grounded him for an indefinite period of time, and made sure the kid knew he might never be forgiven. The first father grew closer to his son, who entered adulthood as a mature young man, eager to contribute to society. The other father became alienated from his son, who grew up struggling with addictions, has moved from job to job, and broken relationship to broken relationship. They both started their families with similar beliefs and values. They faced similar crises, but how they responded to the crisis and communicated those values made the difference.
    Water is a very good thing….a necessary thing. So is adversity, success, friendship, material resources, and many other things we have in life. How you do in life is not based on what you’ve been given; it's what you do with what you’ve been given that matters!

Who's Flying the Plane?

    I fly fairly often and I enjoy it. But there have been those moments while sitting in that chair 30,000 feet in the air, streaking across the sky in excess of 500 mph, when I’ve thought to myself, “I hope this guy got As in his aviation classes.”
    We tend to just trust the guy in the pilot seat. And we should. These guys (and gals) have a huge amount of training and have passed multiple exams, as well as hundreds of hours of flight time before they even make it to co-pilot. They are all really good pilots. But still, have you ever wondered if a “C” student slipped through, and he’s the guy flying your plane?
    I couldn’t believe what happened last week. A pilot on board a regional Delta flight en route to LaGuardia Airport in New York City, had to use the rest room shortly before landing. That’s understandable; they do it all the time while in flight.
    He followed protocol and alerted the flight attendant (small regional jets often have only one) to sit in his place in the cockpit while he stepped out (FAA requires two in the cockpit at all times for obvious reasons). The pilot went to the very back of the plane where it’s only bathroom was located. When he finished, he tried to open the door, only to discover the latch had broken and he couldn’t get out. He worked it for several minutes and even tried to put his shoulder against the door, to no avail. He was stuck inside and the plane was already in a holding pattern waiting for him to return to land it. So he started pounding on the door.
    A nearby passenger heard the pounding and came to his aid, calling through the door asking what he could do to help. The pilot instructed the man to alert his co-pilot in the cockpit of his predicament. Well, this helpful passenger happened to be middle eastern with a thick accent. You can imagine what the co-pilot was thinking as a man with a thick middle-eastern accent began pounding on the high security cockpit door, shouting something that was difficult to understand, after the pilot had been gone for an inordinate amount of time for a simple bathroom break.
    The co-pilot radioed the FAA, which in turn ordered the co-pilot to bring the plane in immediately, despite the pilot’s whereabouts being in question. The FAA also alerted the Air Force to begin the procedure for scrambling fighter jets.
    Just then, the pilot heaved himself against the bathroom door with all his might, breaking it open. (Imagine what all this looked like to the passengers!) After explaining the ordeal through the cockpit door to the co-pilot, he opened the door and let him back inside and the pilot climbed back into his chair to land the plane (at an airport that had been cleared due to a perceived security emergency to be brought down by the co-pilot with the help of a scared-to-death flight attendant!
    Close call; but all’s well that ends well.
    My question for you is, who’s flying your plane?
    You see, God never needs to use the rest room. He is more qualified to direct your life than any airline pilot is to fly a jet airliner. But when you try to take over yourself, you are more like the flight attendant sitting in a seat facing dozens of sophisticated instruments and control equipment. It might be exciting, but it isn’t very safe!
    Maybe its time you let Him fly the plane. He’ll not only bring you to a safe landing at the end of life’s journey, He’ll make the whole trip a lot more worthwhile!

Sorry, Boss

    As a young man starting in ministry and working a secular job at the same time, I made a mistake in my work and said, “Sorry boss, that was my bad. It won’t happen again.” To my surprise he responded, “Don’t apologize. In business, you’re viewed as weak when you admit you’re wrong. Just move on and correct your mistakes, but don’t apologize.”
    Wow! I was pretty surprised. This business owner was a Christian, yet he told me that I shouldn’t apologize when wrong. I have since learned that it is a common philosophy in the cut-throat world of business to never apologize, but instead to shirk responsibility for blame. I knew it wasn’t a correct way to think and wasn’t about to adopt the philosophy. Years later, I became close friends with a very successful business owner and was struck with how quick he was to take responsibility for himself and apologize whenever needed. So which is the better way to go?
    A few years ago I came across an interesting book by John Kador on the subject, Effective Apology: Mending Fences, Building Bridges, and Restoring Trust. In his book Kador says, “Executives who are willing to say, 'I'm sorry' earn more than executives who would never apologize." And, "The stock prices of companies with CEOs who accept accountability are higher than those of companies run by CEOs who don't." He went on to say that people in business who apologize appropriately last longer in their companies, and are more quickly hired when in the hunt, because they have longer lasting trust relationships with peers in their field.
    That all makes sense to me. I have more respect for those who take responsibility for their words and actions and are willing to humble themselves and admit it when they are wrong. I also trust those who are willing to offer a genuine apology.
    But I’m not so interested in what makes sense in business. I’ve seen too many important relationships splintered because of the pride and stubbornness that causes us to refuse to apologize. I’m talking about broken marriages, injured parent-child relationships and fractured churches. But what matters most is that the Bible tells us we are to be quick to apologize. In last week’s blog, I pointed out what Jesus had to say about leaving the gift at the altar and going to the offended brother to make things right. James said this, “Confess your sins to one another” (James 5:16).
    So when you are wrong, it’s important to admit it. Let me give you a couple of helps in how to apologize.

• Be honest. Don’t make false confessions to gloss over a conflict and thereby make for short-term peace. If you did something wrong, admit it, but don’t make up an apology. That’s hypocrisy.
• Be sincere. Never use words like, “If I offended you….” When apologizing, using the word “if” is an automatic eye roller. Every one knows you’re still shirking responsibility. Again, if you did something wrong, say so. “I was wrong. Will you forgive me?”
• Watch your tone. If you apologize with an attitude, again, it’s obvious to those who hear you that you are not sincere. Get rid of the sarcasm, humble yourself, and let your humility come through.
• Take full responsibility. It may be that the person you offended is equally wrong. But that is not your responsibility. By using the word “but” (as many will do– "I shouldn’t have ______ BUT I did because you______”), you are in a sense redirecting the blame to the person you are supposedly apologizing to. Just admit to what you did wrong, and apologize.
• Be committed to change, and say so. It helps to talk a little about what you have learned or what you would do next time. Then, take the necessary steps to make those changes.
• Finally, let it go. There are few things more annoying than hearing a person apologize over and over for the same thing. Whether or not they forgive you is up to them. If you’ve taken full responsibility for your actions, let it go and move on.

    You’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to sin and offend other people. We all do. But when we do, nothing heals, mends fences and builds bridges like a heartfelt apology and expression of love and concern for the person offended. Don’t let pride get in the way. Just say you’re sorry!

Hypocrisy and Forgiveness

    I went into the bank the other day and was struck by the vault being left wide open and unattended, while I was filling out a deposit slip with a pen that was chained to the counter. Does that seem ironic to you? I’m guilty of those little hypocritical gestures….such as ordering a burger, fries, and then a DIET Coke–hahaha. A friend of mine used to leave his new $30,000+ car in the driveway, because his $1,000 camper was taking up the garage space. I could go on and on with things that we do that contradict other things we do. Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes it’s not.
    Like the guy who said he was a Christian and told a church friend, “I will never forgive you for that.”
    Jesus’ harshest words addressed these very things. I don’t know that he would have taken issue with the diet coke and hamburger thing, but when it came to our relationship with him and how it relates to others, he pretty much said, “Live what you say you believe!” “If you’ve been forgiven, you’ll be eager to forgive.”
    Are you?
    John wrote, “Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes” (1 John 2:9–11 ESV). The word for hate is a Greek word that means to disregard, slight, resent. In other words, you can’t be walking with the Lord and at the same time have resentment towards another Christian.
    I know, there’s a bit of hypocrisy in all of us. None of us can claim absolute consistency. But this is pretty serious. Jesus compared religious hypocrites to tombs that were whitewashed on the outside but filled with decaying corpses on the inside. He told his followers to not bother offering sacrifices at the temple (their acts of worship) until you resolve issues between yourself and your brothers and sisters. How we are with each other is a big deal to Him!
    I thought of this the other day seeing Bible verses and spiritual proclamations posted on Facebook by someone I know has ongoing resentment towards other believers. The epitome of Christian faith is based on our entering into God’s forgiveness, and thereby passing it on to others. John was pretty straightforward: we’re not in fellowship with God if we are out of fellowship with His other children.
    I’ll probably keep ordering a diet coke to wash down my greasy burger and fries. But I pray to 
the Lord that I do not blaspheme his forgiveness with an unwillingness to pass it on to others, especially my brothers and sisters in Christ.
    Have you been forgiven? How apparent is that?

Pastor Appreciation

    I appreciate what the Christian radio stations are trying to do. After all, you’re not going to hear “Pastor Appreciation Month” being promoted in church! So the Christian radio stations do their best this one month out of the year to encourage church members to express appreciation  to their pastors. And I want to thank all four of you that I’ve heard from.  Hahaha -- I’M KIDDING!
    In all honesty, most of us pastors are not crazy about Pastor Appreciation Month.  Not that we don’t want to be appreciated. It’s just that it feels forced...and a bit awkward for us. It is a bit like someone coming up to you and reminding you that your wife’s birthday is in a couple of days and encouraging you to get her something, when she is standing right next to you. We feel a bit like the wife standing there hearing all this, and then receiving the card and gift a couple of days after.
    If you already bought the card, go ahead and send it :-). But, I have a couple of requests. Here’s what I, and other pastors on staff would like most:

1. Please pray for me and my family every day. Pray for God’s power on my/our ministry. Pray that we be bold, loving and faithful in serving Him and you. Pray that God keeps us on the straight and narrow, and that our lives and families would be examples to the church and community.
2. Stop gossip, criticism and backbiting (at home and church).  I’m not just talking about us (though we’d really like it if you didn’t gossip about us), I’m talking about negative talk about anyone in the church. You know how it bothers you to hear your kids argue, complain, or dis each other. We feel that way when we see church members doing the same. You have the power to do as Barney Fife so famously put it, “Nip it in the bud!”
3. Sit in the front rows. Hahaha! I know that’s a tough one! But honestly, not only do you give me the impression that you are genuinely interested in what is going on, you send that message to visitors as well, when the front is filled in. Inversely, you send the opposite message when you fill the auditorium from the back to the front. Please? For me...just this one month?
4. Laugh at my jokes. Ok, now I’ve gone too far. I get it. I need to tell jokes that are actually funny in order to get laughter.
5. Support us. We won’t always be right. We have a lot of weaknesses and have lots of room for improvement. But whether or not you think we are making a mistake, we are responsible to God (and not really to you) for those decisions. You won’t have to answer to the Lord for decisions we are responsible for making. But you will answer to the Lord as to whether or not you support us with a cheerful attitude. We sincerely work and pray for God’s power and guidance in leading this church to effectively accomplish our mission. Whether or not you support us has no bearing on our decision-making–that is wholly dependent on God’s Word and the guidance of His Spirit. But knowing you are with us, makes it a lot more enjoyable.

        That’s exactly what the author of Hebrews said, “Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you”  (Hebrews 13:17 NIV).

    So thanks for the gift cards, the encouraging notes, and the other special things you have done for us this month. But more than any of that, we thank you for your support. It’s a privilege to serve God by serving you. I’m really glad to be at The Bridge. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else! (Except, maybe Maui––hahaha.)

Burning in Hot Laver

    I have a cute video from when our kids were young, that I ran across the other day. I’m not sure how old Junior was but he was explaining to me how he had had to jump from furniture to furniture without touching the floor because it was “hot laver.” I tried to correct him, “You mean hot lava?” But he would have none of it. He knew the word. So he corrected me and slowly mouthed the words, “hot l-a-v-e-r”, thinking I didn’t really know. I tried to explain to him that the word was actually “lava” but it didn’t sink in. He jumped from the couch to the chair to avoid burning up in the hot laver.
    Sometimes we just have our minds made up and refuse to be confused with the facts. I’m guilty of it as well. Now that Junior is grown, I still try to correct him. Earlier today while we argued about the identity of someone in a recent event, he said, “Look up the news story on the internet.” I did to prove I was right. I wasn’t; he was. Bummer!
    While many of these stories can be humorous and I know there is a certain amount of stubbornness in all of us, as a pastor, I have been grieved time and again when trying to help, correct or warn one of the sheep, only to encounter that same stiffened neck and unwillingness to receive correction. In those situations, there almost always is a lot more at stake….and I am never happy about being right in the end.
    In the Book of Proverbs, the major theme is differentiating the wise man from the foolish man. In essence, that is the difference. The wise man is teachable, eager to learn, willing to be admonished. The foolish man, on the other hand, has his stubborn mind made up, thinks he knows it all, and has too much pride to accept correction from anyone else.
    Which one are you?
    And that’s why, as parents, our first duty to our children, while they are still very young, is to establish authority and instill an eagerness to listen to Mom and Dad and learn from them. Children who are rarely corrected are apt to grow into adults who refuse to be corrected. Hence, we train them to be what Solomon warned us against: the fool.
    As I look back over my life so far, pivotal times were precipitated by key conversations with people who cared about me enough to offer correcting advice. I’m glad I began reading Proverbs early in my Christian life and knew enough about how God works to be open to the advice of those wiser than me, even when their words were painful to hear.
    What kind of important corrections have you been turning a deaf ear to? Are you the wise man and eager to have your thinking challenged? Or are you responding with what you are sure is right, “l-a-v-e-r”?

Steve Jobs and Me

    I am surprised by how the death of Steve Jobs has affected me. Celebrities die all the time, and I am saddened with each death, especially when there is a question as to the person’s relationship with Christ. But hearing of Jobs’ death was different for me.
    I’ve been an Apple evangelist since before I knew anyone else who used their products. I bought my first Mac in 1985 (I know––before some of you were born and before most of you thought of using a computer!). I left for a brief stint while Jobs was away from Apple and their product line lost its luster, and at the same time Windows was introduced. Jobs returned to Apple and after being frustrated with all of the issues and crashes on my Windows based machine, I happily returned to Apple when Jobs introduced the  first iMac. I’ve been back ever since.
    I’ve never met Steve Jobs, but I liked him. I watched his biannual Apple keynote addresses, read his biography, and grew concerned when he announced his struggle with cancer. More importantly for Apple, I, along with millions of others, trusted him. We knew that as long as he was in charge of the company, Apple would continue to put forth products made with excellence, that their mistakes would be corrected quickly, and Apple’s high price would be a good value. We trusted Apple because we trusted Steve Jobs.
    When he resigned as CEO of the company last August, Apple’s stock dropped. When he passed away last week, it dropped again. And there is a lot of speculation as to what the future will hold for Apple now that their leader is gone. Will there be the same drive for excellence? Will they continue to value simplicity in the midst of complexity? Will every product continue to be viewed as a work of art?
    I have to admit, I’m a bit concerned about the future of a company I’ve depended on for many years. But that’s not why Jobs’ death bothered me. As I think back, I was 24 and just starting in ministry when I unboxed that first Mac. I bought it to begin producing a ministry newsletter and to design and publish my own advertising materials at a time when doing so was very expensive (the Mac changed that). It was then that I began reading about this young man who had started the company in his garage with a college buddy (Steve Wozniak). As I was starting out in ministry, his courage and charisma were inspirational. And his innovations gave me tools to do far more than I could have without them. While I never knew him, he was kind of like a friend from afar.
    In my mind, Steve Jobs was always a young man. For any of us, losing a friend or a relative causes us to rethink life and death. For me, I know I’m prepared to die. But this has been a reminder to me that that day may come sooner than I think. In fact, I think for all of us, it will!
    I’ve spent the last several days reviewing my goals, making some adjustments, and reconsidering how I spend my days. Steve Jobs changed the world with his passion for bringing technology to the masses. But while ministries such as my own have benefited from his ingenuity, for the most part, the way he impacted the world will have only temporal benefit.
    I/we have so much to offer! We have so much more to be passionate about! There is so much more that we can accomplish!
    I guess you could say that Steve Jobs connected people with technology. Here at The Bridge, we get to connect people with God! Having stock in that mission will pay dividends for all eternity!

Road Rage

    Maybe you are guilty of it. Most of us have gotten pretty angry at least once with some self-centered driver cutting off others and endangering everyone while trying to shave off 30 seconds or so of his or her commute. I’ve had to do a fair amount of confession myself after my angry reaction to roadway narcissists. But this guy down in Corbin, Kentucky takes first prize in my book. Not so much because of what he did, but look at the circumstances.
    Clyde White of Corbin, Ky., was charged with attempted murder this last August after police arrested him after a road-rage chase that reached speeds of over 100 mph. White, who had repeatedly rammed his two siblings in their vehicle, is 78 years old, and in that other vehicle were his brother, 82, and his sister, 83 (according to The Lexington Herald-Leader, 8-30-2011).
    I’m not sure what it was that got him so upset. Maybe it was just left-over sibling rivalry that they had never grown out of. But at 78 years old ramming your eighty  something brother and sister while traveling a hundred miles an hour? Wow! There’s a lot of anger there! I wonder how the three of them are doing now. It’s pretty hard to repair a relationship after an incident like that…and they don’t have a lot of time left to do so. Pretty sad.
    Out of control anger gets us in more trouble than we care to admit. Some of you grew up in broken homes because one of your parents (or both) could not….or I should say, would not…control their anger. Some of you are divorced today because you let your anger get the best of you (and are still excusing it). Some of you have lost jobs, ended what could have been valuable friendships, and have injured your children for life, all because of anger. Oh, sure, but yours is justified. After all, they make you angry!
    Let’s be honest. No one can make anyone else angry. Anger, whether the volcanous (I think I made that word up) “blow-up” kind or the seething bitter “clam-up” kind, is almost always sourced in our own selfish demand to get our way, or at least to get others to see our way. And while leaving a trail of broken relationships, you shift the blame to others and defend your angry actions because you “have a right” to be mad!
    Good thing Jesus didn’t do that or we’d all be lost forever. Listen to what Paul said about the one who we claim to be our example:

“Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His own advantage. Instead He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave, taking on the likeness of men. And when He had come as a man in His external form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death—even to death on a cross” (Philippians 2:3–8 HCSB).

    Meditating a little on that passage will put a quick end to your road rage. Better yet, it might save your marriage, your kids, your job and your friendships.

Do You Work Out?

    Do you work out, run, lift weights, walk, bike, or otherwise get a good dose of exercise? I hope so! If you are not exercising regularly, starting and sticking with it will change your life! Mayo clinic recently put out a report on regular physical exercise, listing seven benefits (controls weight, combats health conditions and diseases, improves mood, promotes better sleep, puts the spark back into your sex life, and can be a lot of fun!)
    Paul says that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19), and that they belong to God. That alone ought to tell us that we have a responsibility to take care of the temples He indwells. It’s a part of our worship. We do not honor him by letting such a wondrous part of His creation deteriorate without our care. Getting and staying physically fit is important. Paul did say, “….bodily exercise profits…” (1 Tim. 4:8 NKJV). There is value in exercise. But if you know that passage in 1 Timothy, you’ll see right away that I left out key components. In its entirety it says, “For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come” (1 Timothy 4:8 NKJV). I believe in physical exercise, which takes discipline. But far more importantly, I want to talk about spiritual exercise, or what we call, “spiritual disciplines.” In the verse just before this, Paul said to Timothy, “Exercise yourself (meaning to train or discipline) toward godliness.” Like physical fitness, spiritual fitness takes discipline and work. But the payoff is really worth it!
    Using Mayo Clinic’s benefits of physical exercise, let’s see how they compare to spiritual exercise.
    Exercise controls weight. A friend once said, “I don’t work out because if I did, I’d get more hungry, and then I’d wind up eating too much and gain weight!” Obviously, he was being sarcastic….poking fun at his own laziness. We all know that exercise burns calories, hence lessens physical weight. Spiritual disciplines (reading God’s Word, focused prayer, acts of love and service for others, corporate worship in the Body of Christ) does as well. There is something about spending concentrated time alone with God, as well as serving others selflessly, and worshipping God corporately, that lightens our load, alleviates our worries, and unburdens our thinking.
    Exercise combats health conditions and diseases. It builds the body’s immune system, as do spiritual disciplines, which gives us the weaponry to feign off temptation and the attacks of Satan.
    Exercise improves mood. When I am helping a depressed person, I immediately get them on a regimented sleep and eating schedule, and get the exercising daily. Exercising gets our juices flowing and elevates dopamine (the pleasure chemical in the brain) making us feel better. I can’t tell you how many times I have struggled emotionally and spiritually, knowing I needed to intense alone time with God. After getting away with Him for a while, I am always refreshed in every way!
    Exercise promotes better sleep. There are a number of reasons for this, not the least of which is it just plain tires us out and gives our bodies the desire for sleep. But spiritual disciplines do more to give me a good night’s rest than anything else. I can wake up in the night with cares and worries just like everyone else. I learned a long time ago that the quickest way back to sleep is to pray! If it was God waking me up, He must want my attention, so I pray. If it’s the devil waking me up, He’s not too pleased with how I’m using my time so he lets me go back to sleep. Reading your Bible before bed, praying through a list of people you care about, as well as your own concerns, is like unloading the worries of your mind and giving them to God, allowing you to sleep in peace.
    Exercise puts the spark back into your sex life. Sorry, I’ve got nothing for this one! Hahaha!
    Finally, Mayo Clinic says that exercise is fun. You never think of discipline in any area to be fun, but it is. The happiest people I know are disciplined people. The most frequently depressed and miserable people I know, are slaves to their own feelings and passions. And essentially, that’s what discipline is, it’s overcoming our feelings and doing what we know we should do, instead of what we feel like doing. God has a way of delivering His peace and joy to those who discipline their lives to focus on Him and are following though with serving Him. In the end, spending time with God, obeying Him, and caring for others is the way to a fulfilled and happy life.
    Do you exercise? I hope so. But more importantly, I hope you exercise your spiritual life. Paul told Timothy it has benefits for today that last into eternity!

Are Your Habits Helping or Hurting?

    In “Tale of Two Cities”, Charles Dickens tells the story of a physician who was imprisoned in a French penitentiary for twenty years. Unable to practice medicine, but wanting to keep himself useful and occupied, he took up the trade of shoe cobbler while incarcerated, making and fixing shoes for his fellow inmates. For twenty years, he could be heard working away in his cell late at night, tapping away, repairing the shoes of prisoners. Finally, during the French Revolution, he was set free to go home and return to medicine. But the doctor could not handle the change and his new freedom. Returning to his home, he had a servant build a room in his attic identical in size to his prison cell. In the years leading to his death, neighbors could hear him tapping away, making and repairing shoes late at night, never to return to medicine.
    The fact that we are creatures of habit is a good thing. It enables us to be far more productive, and to accomplish many more things than we otherwise could. If we had to think through everything we do daily, we would be hindered in so many ways. But the vast majority of things that we do, we do on autopilot. I’m not thinking at all about the locations of the keys on this keyboard as I am typing. If I had to think about where each letter was located and which finger I would use to type it, this blog would take me hours to finish. As it is, while thinking through some concepts and doing research for what I write, may take a fair amount of time, typing it takes only a few minutes. I’m typing by way of habit and muscle memory. It’s how most of our accomplishments in life come about. We do the busy work by habit, freeing our minds and creative processes to function efficiently.
    But habit can also become a curse. Addictions, habitual life dominating sins, angry reactions to others, etc., are a struggle for us to overcome because of that same tendency for repeated behaviors to become ingrained in our lives as habit. In this case, a man lost not only his years while in prison, but all the years afterward because he could not release himself from the twenty year prison mentality that developed in his mind. Pretty sad.
    Maybe that’s your struggle. The Bible declares that those who are in Christ have been released from the guilt and the reality of their past. Paul says that we are “dead to sin.” But we have trouble getting out of the routine of that old way of living. Changing habitual behavior is hard. Changing a habitual way of thinking is harder still. So in Romans, Paul told the believers to consider their old way of living to be dead, and their new way of living to be life. He said, “You also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (Romans 6:11–12).
    Having become followers of our Savior Jesus Christ, we are to consider our old ways of sin, those old nasty habits, to be dead, enabling the power of Jesus’ resurrection to give us a new way of thinking and behaving. You don’t have to be imprisoned any longer! You can become what God initially intended you to be! You’ve been freed! Now live the life of freedom.

What Do You Get Out of Church?

    Yesterday was bill paying day. Isn’t that fun? Hahaha! Actually, with modern technology, I’ve taken a lot of the work out of it. I pay pretty much all of it online, and have as many automatic payments going out as possible. But Linda and I still sit down every two weeks and review our budget, look at the amounts of the checks going out (or auto-withdrawals) and make sure the payments are in line with the bills. While we’ve gone paperless and automatic, it still requires our regular attention. When we finished and I closed the budget spreadsheet, I was in a whiny mood. Who likes sending money out…paying bills?
    But then a thought came to me, as though it were a rebuke from the Lord. “Look at all you get for what you pay!” I have a warm house in the winter; a cool house in the summer. I have two reliable cars, also with heat and air, and I don’t have to feed them! We turn a knob and we get our choice of hot or cold water. We turn another knob and we have fire to cook our food over. We have a cupboard full of food, as well as a fridge full of perishable food that is kept from spoiling (and I never have to chop ice to make it work). We have clean clothes that wash relatively easily, and likewise with our clean dishes. We have access to the world through high speed internet, as well as with a crystal clear image on a television that beams images from around the world in real time.
    You know I could go on and on. The fact that we can take hot showers whenever we want is something we rarely give a grateful thought to, but also something few people in all of history have been able to enjoy. Thinking about these things, and consciously thanking God for the blessings that come from our bills, takes the sting out of paying them. When I remember, I take it a step further and pray for those who may be blessed or whose needs may be met, partially through the bills I am paying. All of a sudden, a distasteful task actually becomes enjoyable.
    Nothing worthwhile comes free. You pay bills because you have much to be thankful for! In fact, the level of satisfaction from any activity or enterprise is directly related to the level of sacrifice made on its behalf. Vince Lombardi said, “I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle-victorious.”
    This blog is not so much about paying bills, though I hope it helps your approach to that. But I want you to think about what you get out of church. I’ve heard so many people, leaving really good churches, saying things like, “Well, we just weren’t getting fed.” Sometimes they see me roll my eyes :-). If you have been a believer for any length of time, you shouldn’t be going to church to get fed, anyway! You should be going to feed others! If you’ve been a Christian for more than a couple of years, you will only get out of any church what you put into it. Long-term satisfaction in a church is like anything else, it comes by way of sacrifice. People who sacrificially serve others in their church, with genuine love, enjoy their churches. It may not make logical worldly sense, but those who are not paying attention to what they get out of something, but are more concerned about what they are giving, they get more out of it! This isn’t my principle, this is Jesus’ (Acts 20:35).
    You get what you pay for! How much are you getting out of church? The better question….what sacrifices are you making to serve others through your church? The answer to that question will determine the answer to the one before it.

Do Friendships Matter?

    I enjoy reading. I’m usually in the middle of 2-3 books at a time. I tend to read a fiction or biography, a ministry or leadership related book, and some kind of a personal or devotional book, simultaneously. I’m currently reading a book about a gambling addict and how it destroyed his life and the lives of others (hence last week’s blog), a secular book on leadership and teamwork, a book on the church and global outreach, as well as rereading C.S. Lewis’s “Mere Christianity.”
    I thought about this long-standing practice of mine (since college days) and how it gives me a sense of balance in my life. At no time am I “totally into” just one way of thinking or the opinion of one author. Reading a broad range of material keeps me thinking for myself, and keeps me balanced. (Though whether or not I am ever “in-balance” is up for debate ☺).
    I try to do that with friendships as well. Many years ago, someone suggested, “You should always have a Barnabas, a Silas, a Timothy, and a John Mark.”
    Barnabas was a mentor to Paul. He took him in when he first became a believer and taught him, introducing him to other Christian friends as well. Silas was a peer. While Paul was the leader of the ministry, he and Silas were on the same level spiritually and as friends. They enjoyed each other's company. Timothy was a disciple of Paul (Paul was Timothy’s mentor as Barnabas had been to him). Paul encouraged Timothy, taught him, and told him to follow his example. Then there was John Mark. He was a project. He frustrated Paul (caused division between he and Barnabas)  and waffled between giving him grief and showing him promise. In the end, Mark came around for Paul, but in the early days, Paul was pretty frustrated with him, but he never gave up, altogether.
    We all need that kind of balance in our friendships.
    Do you have a Barnabas? Do you have a mentor, someone you look up to as a committed Christian who is an example to you? Do you have someone in your life who is “ahead of you," so to speak, who can give you good Biblical advice for your marriage, raising kids, job, etc., and maybe confront you when you need a loving rebuke?
    Do you have a Silas? A good friend with whom you just enjoy hanging around with, and someone who is positive peer pressure, who loves God in the way you do, encouraging you in your walk with Christ?
    How about a Timothy? Do you have a younger Christian or maybe a seeker whom you are intentionally leading by example, as well as words. Nothing helps us grow more rapidly than our helping others to grow.
    What about a John Mark? We all need a project or two (NOT more than that!) of those who might be frustrating and inconsistent, sometimes resistant, but someone we can invest in and bring to Christ or help grow. The difference between Timothys and Marks are in their response. Timothys are a joy! They listen, learn, and consistently grow. Marks are frustrating. They go up and down, back and forth. But they need us more than Timothys do, and both help us in our spiritual growth, giving us an opportunity to be like Jesus.
    If you have all Barnabases and Silases, you aren’t serving people and will accomplish little with your life. But if you have all Timothys and Marks, you’ll burn out and get discouraged. You need a good balance of all four.
    I don’t think it's healthy to have too many friends or too few. What we need is a good balance of the right kinds of friends. That has to be done on purpose. I’d encourage you to determine who you will invest time in, and make it a healthy balance among those who feed you, and those you are feeding. It’ll make all of your relationships a lot more meaningful!

Whose Money Are You Gambling?

    If you live in the northwest suburbs, you know that the eagerly sought after and long awaited Des Plaines River Casino is now open. There is a lot of excitement surrounding it, new jobs are available (for the benefit of some in our church), new business in the community is promised, and both casual and serious gamblers are happy to have entertainment so near. No doubt, this is a big deal for Des Plaines.
    But is this big deal good? Of course, there is a huge debate surrounding the economic impact casinos make on communities, including law enforcement issues, city services, fallout from addiction problems, etc. I’m not going to enter into that debate here. But as followers of Jesus who believe and profess to practice Biblical principles, there are some considerations we need to evaluate regarding gambling and whether or not we as Christians will participate.
    Is there anything wrong with gambling?
    Let me follow that question with a few to ask yourself….then you make the decision.
    First, is it your money to gamble? Do your possessions really belong to you, or are you entrusted as a steward of what ultimately belongs to God? I’m sure if I left my belongings in your care for a time, you would not take what is mine and risk it at a casino. I’ve known gambling addicts who not only would, but have done that repeatedly. But you are not an addict. You would never gamble what belongs to someone else. Then again, isn’t that what you are doing? As God’s people, all that is in our possession belongs to God. Is that what He wants you to do with His resources?
    Secondly, is there anything wrong with greed? Let’s face it, the fun of gambling is based on greed. That’s not a pleasant admission, but it is true. People say, “It’s the game we enjoy.” But really? If that were the case, huge card playing and coin flipping complexes (without the gambling) would be equally popular in areas where gambling is illegal. Would you get the same kind of entertainment from a place like that? The “gambling high” people experience come from the prospect of receiving a large windfall––of getting rich quick (and taking a risk to get it). While there are ancillary enjoyments in all the trimmings of the gambling world, greed is at the heart of it all. Come on, let’s just admit it. That’s where the thrill comes from. Is greed a part of your nature that you really want to feed?
    Thirdly, can you really win? I mean it….can you? You might have a good night now and then, but in the end, we all know, these billion dollar complexes are not funded by your winnings. But here’s the bigger part of that….when you do win, who is losing? It’s not the casino! The house always wins. Your winnings are on the backs of those who are losing, and many of them cannot afford to lose anything. Thousands of poor people foolishly flood to the casinos every day in hopes of a big win that would put an end to their destitution. When you win, they lose more….more so than the house. Would you still call that a win for you? If you are one who professes to follow Jesus, I would certainly hope not.
    I think that is the ultimate question with this issue as in all others. Who is Jesus to you? Is He your life-changing God who has given you new values, motives, desires and meaning? Or is he just a religious icon you pay a little homage to on Sundays, who hardly affects your daily choices….certainly not modes of entertainment. Who is Jesus to you? That’s the biggest question of all.

Are You a Sweeper?

    I turned the TV on last night while getting ready for bed and saw parts of an old rerun of King of Queens. In this episode, Carrie (the wife) learns that Doug’s (the husband) parents’ dog, Rocky, is 28 years old. Having a hard time believing that, she inquired further, only to learn from his mother that this particular dog was actually Rocky IV, who was only a few years old, unbeknownst to Doug. The previous three Rockys all died, but they didn’t want to "upset Doug", so they just replaced him….every time, and pretended the replacement to be the original. Carrie informed Doug, who in turn, became angry with her for revealing an unwelcomed truth. He explained that in his family, “We don’t talk about unpleasant or uncomfortable things.”
    “What do you do with the truth, then Doug?”
    “We sweep it under the rug, where it belongs!”
    With all the exaggeration for the sake of humor, the Heffernan family is not far from reality for many people. It’s amazing how many prefer to live a life of denial. Denial of their problems, their sin, their past, present and their future. It’s a lot easier in the short run to just deny that there is a problem. But in the long run, denial leads to a lifetime of destructive reactions and behavior. You can never solve a problem you are unwilling to acknowledge.
    Some years ago, I became more and more aware of disturbing attitudes and behaviors of two boys whose parents were very involved in our church, and personal friends of mine. I met with the parents on more than one occasion and shared my concerns, offering to help. The father was polite, the mother became increasingly annoyed. She eventually told me to “mind my own business.” I responded as I always do in that situation, explaining that I am an involved shepherd. Problems for sheep I’ve been given responsibility for are my concern. “If you don’t want me to be involved in your life, you should not attend the church where I am the shepherd, because I take this responsibility seriously.” They assured me their kids were fine and that it was my “parenting philosophy” that was the problem.
    I really wish the above story turned out differently (and many similar stories did). The last I knew, both boys became drug addicts while still in high school. Both were paying child support to women who they had never had a relationship with, other than the act of getting them pregnant. Neither had been able to hold a steady job or show any interest in God, in church or Christianity.  While I don’t blame the parents for the boys’ choices, the parents’ denial of apparent problems while these kids were young, and unwillingness to get help, led to their destruction.
    We all have problems. Pretending that everything is fine, or talking ourselves into believing “our problems” are not that serious, only exacerbates those problems. The first step to solving any problem is to acknowledge it, and then to be open to get help from godly people who can share Biblical solutions.
    If your marriage is in the early stages of trouble, now is the time to get help! If you are sensing difficulty in those early teen years, reach out for a godly parent who has gone through these years before you. If your spiritual zeal is starting to wane, open up to your life group (if you don’t have one––get in one!).
    We don’t come to church to impress each other! We come here for help...to give it and receive it! But you have to start by acknowledging the truth.

How Sharp Are You?

    In Liberating Ministry from the Success Syndrome, Kent Hughes told the following story:
    “Some years ago a young man approached the foreman of a logging crew and asked for a job. ‘That depends,’ replied the foreman. ‘Let’s see you fell this tree.’ The young man stepped forward and skillfully felled a great tree. Impressed, the foreman exclaimed, ‘Start Monday!’
    “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday rolled by, and Thursday afternoon the foreman approached the young man and said, ‘You can pick up your paycheck on the way out today.’
    “Startled, he replied, ‘I thought you paid on Friday.’ ‘Normally we do,’ answered the foreman, ‘but we’re letting you go today because you’ve fallen behind. Our daily felling charts show that you’ve dropped from first place on Monday to last on Wednesday.’
    “‘But I’m a hard worker,’ the young man objected. ‘I arrive first, leave last, and even have worked through my coffee breaks!’
    “The foreman, sensing the boy’s integrity thought for a minute and then asked, ‘Have you been sharpening your ax?’
    “The young man replied, ‘I’ve been working too hard to take the time.’”
    The lumberjack was given another chance and having re-sharpened his ax, once again exceeded all other workers. It’s amazing the difference a little sharpening makes!
    I work too often with a dull ax. Prayer is hard for me. I have to work harder at spending extended time in prayer than anything else. I don’t always feel like praying. But when I let it go, my work becomes inefficient and I use up more energy while getting less accomplished; I become more easily discouraged and I lose sight of the nature of my work.
    Have you been sharpening your ax? Is it a priority to you to keep your life at peak efficiency or is praying near the end of your daily agenda. What about corporate prayer? Is prayer a priority in your life group or an after thought? 
    Jim Elliot, a missionary slain by the Auca Indians in the 1950's, once said: “God is still on His throne and man is still on his footstool. There's only a knee's distance in between.” After his life was taken, his prayer for the Aucas was answered. Jim’s wife, Elizabeth Elliot, returned to the Auca tribe and witnessed hundreds of conversions due to her husband’s testimony and prayers. Today there are thriving indigenous churches in that region.
    God delights in answering the cries of our hearts. But we must have the faith and commitment to go before Him believing He hears and answers prayer. Don’t let a day go by without it! Otherwise, you are chopping wood with a dull ax.

Love Will NOT Keep You Together!

    Twenty-seven years ago this very moment (as I am typing), I was in the middle of making a life-long eternity altering commitment. I said, “I do” and Linda said the same. Not too long after that, my groomsmen tackled me and literally locked a ball and chain on to my ankle! I went through most of the rest of that afternoon carrying the ball and chain….and asking people for the key to get it unlocked!
    But, I want you to know, Linda, I have never thought of our marriage as bondage!
    It is, however, a commitment. And through these twenty-seven years, that has been what has kept us together. We never bought into Captain & Tennille’s thinking: “Love Will Keep Us Together” (actually written by Neil Sadaka for those into Trivia). You know what they call couples who are kept together by love? DIVORCED!
    I love Linda more than I could express. I didn’t even know love like this was possible when Linda and I were first married. But that is NOT what has kept us together.
    The feelings of love come and go. If love was to keep us together, Linda would have left me sometime in year two. And honestly, both of us would have bolted at multiple points if we were relying on our feelings to build or preserve our marriage. We knew when we got married that our feeble emotions were unreliable and in need of stronger bonding agents to make them work correctly. I’m really glad that both of us were taught that before we started our lives together. The idea of separating or divorcing was never brought up in a single argument, and not even considered by either one of us, ever. It was just not part of the equation. Linda has been quoted to say, “Murder might be an option, but divorce, never.” I think she was joking but I’ve not been interested in finding out for sure :-).
    In truth, I didn’t really know what I was getting in a wife when she agreed to marry me. I’m sure Linda didn’t know what she was getting in a husband, either (or I’d still be single). I think we both turned out to be different than what we thought each other to be….we were young, had blinders on, and the nature of dating is pretty deceptive. I’m not sure I’m the guy Linda thought she loved when we were dating and engaged. But the kind of love from God that flows from commitment (not just commitment to stay together, but commitment to the well-being of each other), does not dependent on personality or life-stage. It moves and circulates through life with the couple and strengthens in intensity and passion. The feelings, like with all people, move up and down, making it fun, challenging and rewarding. But the feelings are results, not causes of a good marriage. Linda and I enjoy strong feelings for each other today, because we stood at an altar twenty seven years ago, and before God, our friends and family, committed our whole beings to one another for the rest of our lives. It worked because we meant it!
    I love you Linda! Thanks for taking the risk!

Can You Trust How You Feel?

    It’s good that we have emotions. Without them, we’d be like Spock from Star Trek. How miserable it would be to never experience joy. Of course, you wouldn’t know it was miserable because you wouldn’t be able to feel misery either. But without our emotions, we wouldn’t be human.
    We get our emotions from God. After all, we were created in His image, and He has emotions. The Scripture speaks of His joy, anger, grief, happiness, passion and sympathy. We are emotional beings, having been created in His image.
    So emotions are good, right? Yes, so long as they serve us and do not dominate us.
    I just learned of a friend that I had known many years ago as a young man, who committed suicide several months ago. I was grieved. I had reconnected with him on Facebook a couple of years ago and knew he had small children, a good job, and an apparently decent life. I knew him to be intelligent and talented, spiritually minded, exhibiting a commitment to loving and serving God. But he was given to emotional ups and downs. He’d laugh often and weep at least as often. I remember wondering which Dave I would encounter on any given day….the “up” Dave or the “down” Dave. And in most conversations, he would reference something about his feelings at the moment. Despite all that he had going for him, he tended to be dominated by his emotions. He made decisions based on his feelings, which hurt him often. When you do that, your emotions become your master and they tend to spiral out of control, especially in the wake of multiple bad decisions made by those dominating and unreliable feelings. Now this man has left a young family to live with the grief of his loss because his emotions became his master.
    Some of the smartest and most gifted people I know have done little with their lives due to emotional instability. They may not have committed suicide, but they commit career or relationship suicide (often both). The most successful people I know (in business, marriage, child-training, life) are not necessarily the brightest or most talented, but they do tend to be in control of how they feel. They make decisions based on wisdom and not by the whim of their fluctuating “gut”. While their feelings support their lives, they do not allow their emotions to overwhelm their thinking and steer them in an unwise direction.
    Daniel Goleman wrote a book on the subject entitled, “Emotional Intelligence” with the subtitle, “Why it can matter more than IQ”. His research documents how success is impacted more by a person’s ability to use his emotions for his benefit, rather than erratically directed by oscillating feelings. Emotions are important for success. People who are passionate do better in life. But those who are unable to discipline their feelings are usually destroyed by the dark side of those passions.
    So, can you trust your emotions? Not really. It’s good to let your gut (which is more intuitive memory/experience than feelings) interact with your thinking. But anytime you make a decision when emotionally high or low, you will probably later regret that choice. Emotions are great servants but terrible masters.
    Instead, trust God and the wisdom of His Word. Seek counsel and advice and take time when making decisions. Think it through and do the right thing, while loving others even when you don’t feel like it. When you live this way, your feelings follow and become wonderful companions.

Be Careful Who You Ask for Help

    Poor guy. He made his dream escape! And it’s not easy to escape from the Washington State Penitentiary. It took a lot of planning, perfect timing and hard work. But he did it! Then, however, he had to elude authorities. After spending a day on the run, without food or shelter, he came across a cabin in the woods. Perfect! If the place is unoccupied, it would be a chance to catch up on a little sleep, maybe scrounge up some food. If someone is home, he could subdue them, get their money, use their phone to call a buddy, maybe get the car keys. So he knocks on the door….footsteps….door opens….and standing before him is one of his prison guards on vacation. I’m sure both were a bit surprised to see each other, the guard not even knowing about the escape. A short scuffle ensued, but the end result is James Russell is once again behind bars.
    Be careful who you ask for help. Sometimes the people you go to will only make things worse. Once while traveling, I stopped and asked for directions. I thought I was given credible advice, but the person sent me to a nearby town. When I finally found what I was looking for, it was less than a block from the station I had stopped at looking for help.
    The Bible tells us that “many advisors bring success” (Proverbs 15:22 NLT). But not all advice is equal and not all people are equally qualified to give advice. Maybe that’s why Proverbs tells us to get lots of it. Larry Burkett used to say, “A wise man looks for counsel; a foolish man listens to all of it.” You wouldn’t want to depend on me for advice on decorating your living room or landscaping your backyard. But at the same time, you shouldn’t depend on the world’s advice, no matter how much education they have, on spiritual matters, such as building a strong marriage or raising godly kids. When you consider the state of the secular world, looking for advice from the supposed experts is like the time my dad asked a French man for directions while in Germany. Neither spoke German, nor did they understand each other.
    But God does give answers to life’s most necessary questions. His Word contains all that is necessary for “life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:3). Much of it will contradict the conventional wisdom of this world. But then again, the conventional wisdom of this world isn’t working out too well, is it. So when looking for counsel, find godly people who know the Word and are living it out in their own lives, and take to heart what they have to say.
    When I think of James Russell and his near escape from incarceration last week, I can’t help but think of Paul’s words to the Galatian believers, “So now that you know God (or should I say, now that God knows you), why do you want to go back again and become slaves once more to the weak and useless spiritual principles of this world” (Galatians 4:9 NLT)?

These Bombs and Missiles are NOT Hostile!

    You know I rarely get political. I don’t in this blog and I don’t in my preaching. And I don’t mean to take a political position with what I’m about to say. The politics in it are up for debate.
    But did you hear the White House’s legal defense of the military’s continued operation in Libya without authorization from Congress? The President claims that this particular operation does not fall under the War Powers Act because our military actions do not constitute “hostilities”.
    What? What, pray tell, does it constitute? Are the missiles we are firing (and we are firing missiles) gentle offers of friendship? Are the bombs we are dropping (and we are dropping bombs) loving acts of kindness? If our actions are not hostile, than what are they?
    Again, I’m not making a statement on the rightness or wrongness of American military actions in Libya. Moammar Gadhafi is a bad guy, no doubt, and his regime is an enemy of the United States, and freedom loving people around the world. I’m not in the position to judge the rightness or wrongness of this war (and haven’t given it a lot of thought). But to say our acts of war do not constitute hostilities is ludicrous! (And I know that Republicans have said equally ridiculous things in the past.)
    But here’s my point. We are good at that. Not we Americans or we westerners or Republicans or Democrats or Capitalists or whatever you want to label yourself. But we as a human race are really good at putting a positive spin on bad things we are doing to other people. How many times have you defended your own hostile actions against others, claiming, “I meant no malice.” Ya, right. How many times have you, after running down another’s character or criticizing another behind their back, said something like, “That’s not really gossip because…..” blah, blah, blah, blah.
    And the bullets we are shooting, the bombs we are dropping, the missiles we are firing are not hostile.
    Yes they are and yes it is. Speaking negatively about other people outside of their presence is gossip. It’s not “getting it off your chest” or “bouncing it off someone you trust” or any of the other excuses we use. It’s gossip – plain and simple, and it’s wrong.
    Attacking people verbally behind their backs or to their face, whether or not you think it is deserved, is malicious. Let’s just stop denying it. When we do these things, we are trying to put ourselves above others by putting them down. It is malicious, it is selfish, and it is sinful.
    Our problem is that not only does our sin cause us to look out for #1, and in doing so put others down, but we deny that we even do it. And we rationalize, blame-shift, or spin the truth to make ourselves look better. Even when caught red-handed, we do all we can to put the best light on our actions. We can be bombing another country and claim it wasn’t hostility.
    So the first step in any kind of change is to face reality. The reality is, we’ve been acting in hostility towards Ghadafi’s regime in Libya. Are you willing to come clean in regards to your acts of hostility towards others?

Christians Have Small Brains!!

    And now we have it….born again Christians have smaller brains than other members of the population. So says a recent article in USA Today, based on a study at Duke University.
    But you might want to read the fine print. The study involved the difference in size of the hippocampus region of the brain, not generally viewed as a major contributor to intelligence (if at all). Most Scientists view the cerebral cortex, and it’s related partner, the corpus collosum, as contributing most to general intelligence, as well as the number of inter-connective tissues that support inner brain communication. The hippocampus region does contribute to how short term memory is converted to long-term memory as well as matters of spatial navigation. But the implication of most news reports on this study is that born-again Christians are just not as smart as the average “normal” person.
    I have always had concerns with any study that differentiates “born-again Christians” from the rest of the population in that the term is usually defined so broadly that it is meaningless to those of us who understand Jesus’ meaning of the term. And it seems that most who do these studies have an axe to grind with Biblical Christianity and are eager to accentuate any negatives that can be found.
    I, no doubt, am not as smart as many non-Christians. Then again, I’m not as dumb as many of them, either! In reality, it can be demonstrated that some of the most intelligent and influential people who have ever lived have been committed Christians with a genuine born-again experience. But in all honesty, while I believe God wants us to think through the claims of the Bible, and taking the step of faith to follow Him is not devoid of intellectual consideration, it ultimately is not as much a matter of intelligence as it is a matter of trust. Trust in the God who has revealed Himself in nature, in our consciences, in the Scriptures, and through through Jesus Christ. There are certainly a lot of smart people who refuse to believe. Often, it is their unwillingness to trust in anything other than their own intellect that is their downfall.
    I might have a smaller hypocampus than others. In some ways, I would suspect that is the case (many scientists believe that stress affects the hypocampus). Maybe having become followers of Christ, and having a personal relationship with the God of this universe, has eased some of the stress of life and thoughts of the afterlife. I’m good with that.
    Or maybe I’m just not as smart.

Just Take Your Business Elsewhere

    Last month in New York City, 45 year-old Harold Luken walked into a Bank of America and announced that he had a gun and was going to rob the place. He then went to the teller line and told those in front of him to carry on their business. When he finally reached the teller, he again announced that he had a gun and told her to empty the contents of her register. Knowing the police were about arrive (since he had given them plenty of notice :-), she refused. So he then gave her his bank card and asked to check his balance. She again refused. The man, reportedly, angrily stormed off muttering, “I’ll just take my business to Citibank and rob them!”
    He was arrested on the sidewalk within minutes after he exited the bank. I’m sure Bank of America will be sad to see Harold go.
    In my nearly 25 years of pastoring, I’ve met a few “Harolds.” After displaying negative attitudes, lots of complaining and multiple attempts to stir up trouble, they would eventually say something like, “I think it’s time I find another church.” I’d usually smile and agree, “Ya, Harold (their names were never actually Harold), I think you’re right.” They’d be astonished I didn’t try to talk them into staying. But for me, it was kind of like Bank of America hearing, “I’ll just take my business to Citibank and rob them!” The difference is, we are not in competition with other Gospel preaching churches and I want all of them to do well and do not wish soul robbers on any of them.
    As a church, we are here to help those who are seeking find their way, feed those who want to grow, and direct those who want to serve. But some people seem to think we just want EVERYBODY here. Actually, The Bridge isn’t for everybody. The Apostle Paul told the Roman church, “I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them” (Romans 16:17). Those who detract from our mission, create an atmosphere of discontent, or hinder the spiritual growth of new believers, will not enjoy themselves at The Bridge, and we won’t work too hard to keep them in the position of “robbing” what God is doing in and through us.
    I’m glad you are here. But this church has a mission. If you are here, take your time in getting to know us. But part of getting to know us is to know we want you serving WITH us. Don’t be a Harold. Discard the weapons and throw away the bag you were planning of filling for yourself, roll up your sleeves and join us in the work God has for us!

Is Dog Man's Best Friend?

    I doubt Joel Dobrin’s dog is, at least not anymore.
    Dobrin was pulled over a few days ago for a routine traffic stop in Moro, Idaho. He had a stash of drugs stuffed in a sock, sitting next to him, and not wanting the officer to see it, flung it onto the floor of the back seat. Dobrin’s dog saw this as an opportunity for a game of fetch and jumped back to get it. The officer was still in the car awaiting radio response from the license check, so Dobrin reached for the sock to pull it from the dog’s mouth, who, in turn, saw it as a game of tug-of-war. Dobrin won the game but lost the war. He pulled the sock so hard that as he yanked it out of the dog’s mouth, it went flying out his window, with contraband scattering everywhere. All this in perfect timing: just as the officer approached the car.
    I wonder if Rover will recognize him in that bright orange jump suit?
    Joel, don’t blame your dog. He was just being a dog. And don’t blame the cop, he was doing his job and upholding the law. This was all you! You are the cause of your own troubles.
    But that’s a tough admission to make. Not just for Joel Dobrin, but for all of us. It’s a lot easier on our psyche to convince ourselves that the trouble at work is due to an over-demanding boss or irresponsible coworkers. It’s feels better to blame the bad marriage on the lack of communication skills of your husband or the moodiness of your wife. And you don’t feel so condemned when you reason that your addiction is due to the way you were hard-wired than due to a series of bad choices.
    But if Joel blames his dog, I doubt this will be his last stint in jail.
    And if you keep blaming everyone and everything else, your troubles will just continue to repeat themselves.
    Blame-shifting and excuse-making are as old as Adam and Eve. Neither one of them were willing to take responsibility for their sin. We tend to follow suit.
    But that’s also what keeps us from being released from sin’s bondage. The first step to freedom is confession, which is a full acknowledgment of one’s offense, without excusing or accusing others. Proverbs 28:13 reads, “Whoever conceals his sins will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”
    God is eager to forgive you and deliver you. But you’ve got to stop defending yourself, playing games and pointing fingers.
    You know what? I really do think Joel Dobrin’s dog was his best friend. It was to Joel’s benefit to get caught. But whether or not he repents or keeps playing tug-of-war will determine if his life changes for the better.
    Maybe that’s the case with you as well.
    “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Rejoicing Over bin Laden's Death

    In the aftermath of Osama bin Laden’s death, I’ve been a bit surprised by the buzz among Christians all over Facebook and Twitter, and in private conversations, over whether or not it was appropriate for Americans, Christians specifically, to celebrate.
    The arguments against rejoicing go something like this–– “Osoma bin Laden may have been an enemy, but Jesus taught us to love our enemies. The death of any human being is a tragedy, and we should never rejoice over any man’s death.” A couple of Bible verses are sometimes cited, such as Proverbs 24:17 – “Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, And do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles.”  Ezekiel 33:11 is also quoted, “I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live.” A priest on one of the news stations the other night went so far as telling the commentator that Americans who were elated over bin Laden’s death were no better than the Muslim terrorist sympathizers who publicly rejoiced when the World Trace Center Towers fell on 9-11. Advocates of this view were quick to pass on the quote attributed to Martin Luther King Jr., “I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy.”
    Is that right? Is that what Jesus meant by, “Love your enemies”? Should Christians rejoice in the death of an enemy? (Incidentally, MLK never actually said the above quote. Somebody just thought they’d get more credibility with it if it was attributed it to him.)
    We have to always be careful that we do not misinterpret isolated Scriptures when making application to any subject. All Scripture is inspired, and it is a unified whole. One passage will not contradict another. When it comes to obscure passages or statements that can be interpreted in a couple of ways, we should use clear passages and the whole of Scripture to help us understand the meaning of those that are less clear or less obvious.
    With that in mind, did Jesus mean by loving our enemies that we should not celebrate a victory over a military enemy, who is actively seeking to take innocent lives, including our brothers and sisters? If so, he would have been contradicting multiple passages where God’s people both sought The Lord to bring justice upon their enemies (Revelation 6:10), or where God’s people rightly celebrated victory over them, including the deaths of those who were seeking to destroy them. 2 Chronicles 20:27 reads, "Then, led by Jehoshaphat, all the men of Judah and Jerusalem returned joyfully to Jerusalem, for the Lord had given them cause to rejoice over their enemies."  Psalm 9 is especially applicable in that David used the entire Psalm to celebrate, thank, and praise God for victory over (including the deaths of) those who were seeking to destroy him. We also can’t ignore the many celebrations the Children of Israel made after major victories over their enemies, including the deaths of the entire Egyptian army after the crossing of the Red Sea, the inhabitants of Jericho after the miraculous collapse of its walls, and many other enemies during the Promised Land conquests and when attacked by enemies during the monarchy.
    So then, what did Jesus mean by, “Love your enemies”? To love is to practice acts of self-sacrificial good-will for the benefit of another, without expecting anything in return. It does not mean that we are not to protect ourselves, our loved ones, our countrymen, or principles of righteousness. As followers of God, we ought to be lovers of justice and protectors of those who are innocent. It is certainly appropriate that we celebrate when justice prevails, when evil is vanquished, and when innocent lives are protected. Knowing that bin Laden was actively seeking to kill more Jews and Americans, simply because they are Jewish or American, we ought to rejoice that those lives he would have taken, had he lived, are now saved. That, along with justice prevailing, is cause for rejoicing.
    God would have rather that bin Laden had repented. YES! I certainly would have as well. Sadly, that did not happen. But justice did.

Are You Up to the Challenge?

    “The difficult we will do immediately; the impossible may take us a while longer!”
    That’s the slogan of the Seabees, that group of over 300,000 courageous, hard-working men first called up during World War II who followed combat units into newly conquered territory. From the island hopping of World War II to the cold of Korea, to the jungles of Vietnam, to the mountains of Bosnia, and now to the desert of Afghanistan, the Seabees have built entire bases, bulldozed and paved thousands of miles of roadway and airstrips, built bridges and military bases and have accomplished a myriad of construction projects vital for military success. “The difficult we will do immediately; the impossible may take us a while longer!”
    What do you consider impossible? Slavery? Booker T. Washington was born into slavery. Deafness? Thomas Edison was virtually deaf. Poor home? Abraham Lincoln was born to illiterate parents. Physical handicaps? Lord Byron had a club foot. Robert Louis Stevenson had tuberculosis. Alexander Pope was a hunchback. Admiral Nelson had only one eye. Julius Caesar was an epileptic. Louis Pasteur, was so near-sighted that he had a difficult time finding his way around his laboratory. Helen Keller could not hear or see, but graduated with honors from Radcliffe. An expert said of famous football coach Vince Lombardi: “He possesses minimal football knowledge. Lacks motivation.” Louisa May Alcott, the author of Little Women, was advised by her family to find work as a servant or seamstress. The teacher of famous opera singer Enrico Caruso said Caruso had no voice at all and could not sing. Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper for lacking ideas. He also went bankrupt several times before he succeeded.
    I don’t know how many of them were believers but I do know that many of them accomplished what was thought to be impossible in their own human strength. If they could do it, shouldn’t the child of God be able to do the impossible in God’s strength. Our God loves the word “impossible.”
    Our goals tend to be too short sighted and our faith tends to be weak. God wants to do great things for us and through us if we are willing to connect with Him long enough to embrace His vision. He wants to do great things through you at work, home and church! Are you up to the challenge?
    To be used of God and to see Him work in a great way takes the risk of faith and the commitment of time, energy and recourses on our part. And it will all start when we catch His vision. He wants to use us. He wants to use you. Again, I ask, are you up to the challenge? Do you want to see the impossible?
    “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you... plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

Some Things You Can't Take Back

    My heart was broken as I read of the two fourteen-year-old girls who died together in a suicide pact last Saturday. Haylee Fentress and Paige Moravetz were found over the weekend, having hung themselves in one of the girl’s homes in Minnesota. Both girls had been struggling in school and saw themselves as outcasts. They were made fun of repeatedly by classmates. The one girl had recently moved from Indiana and was never accepted in her new school, other than by another bullied girl, with whom she died.
    Kids rarely have any idea the kind of torment they can inflict on others. They get caught in the moment of deflecting their own pain or getting attention by getting the better of an easy target. It’s part of our sin nature. But the things those kids said will now haunt them for the rest of their lives. With all of their mechanisms for dealing with guilt, they will not be able to escape the gnawing awareness that their cruel words and thoughtless actions were felt so deeply that those poor girls could not see beyond eighth grade to want to keep living. And now there is nothing these classmates will ever be able to do or say to make up for or retract their culpability.
    Whenever my kids have complained of being bullied or put down by others at school (and yes, it happens to most kids to some degree), I have reminded them that it is far better to be bullied than to be a bully. Most kids who pick on and put down others have parents who have no idea how their kids are treating others. Sometimes its the kids from dysfunctional families, but as often it is the kids from stable middle class two parent homes who bully.
    Parenting is more than providing for our kids’ necessities and making sure they get a good education or do well in extra-curricular activities. As a father, I would far rather have a child who struggles with his grades and is sub-par in athletic or music performance, but kind and sensitive to the needs of others, than the other way around.
    We all grow out of middle school eventually and with maturity comes a certain level of fortitude to handle put downs (at least to know its not the end of the world) and the social maturity to back off the bullying. But many never grow out of the grade-school mentality of measuring their worth against others and attempting to elevate themselves by putting others down, either in ridicule or behind their back. I am sometimes shocked at the freedom some adults feel in criticizing and running another person down when they are not present to defend themselves. They excuse it with comments like, “I just needed to get it off my chest,” or “I needed to bounce it off someone else to get their thoughts,” all at the expense of someone else’s reputation.
    Adults hurt each other with their words as well. The people who are hurt may not enter into a suicide pact, but it hurts nonetheless. And the perpetrators inflict harm that, like the case of the mean eighth graders in Island Lake, Minnesota, can do the kind of damage that cannot ever be retracted.
    This would be a good time to talk with your kids about how they reach out to others. And it might also be a good time to do a self-assessment. Do your words always benefit the listener and the person you are talking about?
    “It is pleasant to listen to wise words, but the speech of fools brings them to ruin.” –Ecclesiastes 10:12