Are The Side Effects Worth the Cure?

    I read a spoof article today, announcing a new drug that is supposedly now on the market, promising a cure for the common cold. Within 6 hours, all cold symptoms will be gone and the underlying virus will be eradicated. A spokesperson for the company was quoted as saying, “We’re excited and happy to do the public some good.” But then the article went on to explain that as with all medications, there are some side effects. Here are some associated with this new miracle drug:

• Head and body hair self-igniting
• Vomiting while sleeping
• Toe-nails, finger-nails, and skin falling off
• Urge to throw boss out the window
• Inability to determine left from right
• Craving for fried guinea pig

    But the article closes with, “But your cold will be gone!”
    Hahahaha! Sometimes the trade-off is not worth it. Yes, you can manipulate situations and often ultimately get the things you are sure you must have. But will it be worth it?
    Will having a husband or wife be worthwhile if you have to ignore Scripture and marry a non-Christian to get one? Not five years down the road! Will overseeing a thriving business be all that great if you have to sacrifice principles, or your family, in order to make it happen? Will having an academic scholarship really be worthwhile if you have to compromise your integrity and cheat on a few tests in order to get those grades?
    Maybe the side effects of some of these manipulations should be published. If they were, what would they be?

• Inability to sleep
• Weighted down with guilt
• Kids who have nothing to do with you
• Struggle to look people in the eye
• Loss of ability to determine right from wrong
• Forfeiture of reputation

    We could name many more.
    Temptation is like the above spoof. It always promises something good. But when you get whatever that good is, you’ll wish you were dead!
    It just isn’t worth it. God knows best. He knows you better than you know yourself. He knows what will bring you up and what will bring you down. Doing things His way will always be better. Manipulating situations and doing things outside of God’s boundaries will always hurt us in the end. And the side effects of following His principles are even better than the end result!
    Do it God’s way!

Water Is Poison?

    A middle school student in Idaho won first prize in a project he did for his school’s science fair. He wanted to show how conditioned Americans have become to accept junk science without thinking through published studies or their conclusions. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide."
    Before asking them to sign the petition, he showed them the dangers associated with this chemical.  They are broad and apparently threatening:
        •  It can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
        •  It is a major component in acid rain
        •  It can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
        •  Inhalation can kill you
        •  It contributes to erosion
        •  Decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
        •  It has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients
    The student asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. Forty-three (43) said yes, six (6) were undecided, and only one (1) knew that the chemical was water.
    When you think about it, the inherent dangers of water can put a lot of things in perspective. Not only is water a good thing, it is necessary for life! But just like all good things, there are risks, downsides, and negative associations with just about anything in life. It’s what you do with water that matters. How we use what we have been given and how we respond to circumstances we face is far more important than what those circumstances are at face value. A destructive experience for one person is the catalyst for success for another.
    Two fathers in the same town with similar families and life circumstances faced a similar trial. Both received word from a mutual friend that their junior high boys were involved in some mild illegal activity (if there is such a thing). How the two fathers responded made a lasting difference.
    The first father saw the crisis as an opportunity to make changes in his own schedule choices to give his son more time, and to become more involved in his life, talking regularly about his values and the things in life that are important. The other father blew his top, grounded him for an indefinite period of time, and made sure the kid knew he might never be forgiven. The first father grew closer to his son, who entered adulthood as a mature young man, eager to contribute to society. The other father became alienated from his son, who grew up struggling with addictions, has moved from job to job, and broken relationship to broken relationship. They both started their families with similar beliefs and values. They faced similar crises, but how they responded to the crisis and communicated those values made the difference.
    Water is a very good thing….a necessary thing. So is adversity, success, friendship, material resources, and many other things we have in life. How you do in life is not based on what you’ve been given; it's what you do with what you’ve been given that matters!

Who's Flying the Plane?

    I fly fairly often and I enjoy it. But there have been those moments while sitting in that chair 30,000 feet in the air, streaking across the sky in excess of 500 mph, when I’ve thought to myself, “I hope this guy got As in his aviation classes.”
    We tend to just trust the guy in the pilot seat. And we should. These guys (and gals) have a huge amount of training and have passed multiple exams, as well as hundreds of hours of flight time before they even make it to co-pilot. They are all really good pilots. But still, have you ever wondered if a “C” student slipped through, and he’s the guy flying your plane?
    I couldn’t believe what happened last week. A pilot on board a regional Delta flight en route to LaGuardia Airport in New York City, had to use the rest room shortly before landing. That’s understandable; they do it all the time while in flight.
    He followed protocol and alerted the flight attendant (small regional jets often have only one) to sit in his place in the cockpit while he stepped out (FAA requires two in the cockpit at all times for obvious reasons). The pilot went to the very back of the plane where it’s only bathroom was located. When he finished, he tried to open the door, only to discover the latch had broken and he couldn’t get out. He worked it for several minutes and even tried to put his shoulder against the door, to no avail. He was stuck inside and the plane was already in a holding pattern waiting for him to return to land it. So he started pounding on the door.
    A nearby passenger heard the pounding and came to his aid, calling through the door asking what he could do to help. The pilot instructed the man to alert his co-pilot in the cockpit of his predicament. Well, this helpful passenger happened to be middle eastern with a thick accent. You can imagine what the co-pilot was thinking as a man with a thick middle-eastern accent began pounding on the high security cockpit door, shouting something that was difficult to understand, after the pilot had been gone for an inordinate amount of time for a simple bathroom break.
    The co-pilot radioed the FAA, which in turn ordered the co-pilot to bring the plane in immediately, despite the pilot’s whereabouts being in question. The FAA also alerted the Air Force to begin the procedure for scrambling fighter jets.
    Just then, the pilot heaved himself against the bathroom door with all his might, breaking it open. (Imagine what all this looked like to the passengers!) After explaining the ordeal through the cockpit door to the co-pilot, he opened the door and let him back inside and the pilot climbed back into his chair to land the plane (at an airport that had been cleared due to a perceived security emergency to be brought down by the co-pilot with the help of a scared-to-death flight attendant!
    Close call; but all’s well that ends well.
    My question for you is, who’s flying your plane?
    You see, God never needs to use the rest room. He is more qualified to direct your life than any airline pilot is to fly a jet airliner. But when you try to take over yourself, you are more like the flight attendant sitting in a seat facing dozens of sophisticated instruments and control equipment. It might be exciting, but it isn’t very safe!
    Maybe its time you let Him fly the plane. He’ll not only bring you to a safe landing at the end of life’s journey, He’ll make the whole trip a lot more worthwhile!

Sorry, Boss

    As a young man starting in ministry and working a secular job at the same time, I made a mistake in my work and said, “Sorry boss, that was my bad. It won’t happen again.” To my surprise he responded, “Don’t apologize. In business, you’re viewed as weak when you admit you’re wrong. Just move on and correct your mistakes, but don’t apologize.”
    Wow! I was pretty surprised. This business owner was a Christian, yet he told me that I shouldn’t apologize when wrong. I have since learned that it is a common philosophy in the cut-throat world of business to never apologize, but instead to shirk responsibility for blame. I knew it wasn’t a correct way to think and wasn’t about to adopt the philosophy. Years later, I became close friends with a very successful business owner and was struck with how quick he was to take responsibility for himself and apologize whenever needed. So which is the better way to go?
    A few years ago I came across an interesting book by John Kador on the subject, Effective Apology: Mending Fences, Building Bridges, and Restoring Trust. In his book Kador says, “Executives who are willing to say, 'I'm sorry' earn more than executives who would never apologize." And, "The stock prices of companies with CEOs who accept accountability are higher than those of companies run by CEOs who don't." He went on to say that people in business who apologize appropriately last longer in their companies, and are more quickly hired when in the hunt, because they have longer lasting trust relationships with peers in their field.
    That all makes sense to me. I have more respect for those who take responsibility for their words and actions and are willing to humble themselves and admit it when they are wrong. I also trust those who are willing to offer a genuine apology.
    But I’m not so interested in what makes sense in business. I’ve seen too many important relationships splintered because of the pride and stubbornness that causes us to refuse to apologize. I’m talking about broken marriages, injured parent-child relationships and fractured churches. But what matters most is that the Bible tells us we are to be quick to apologize. In last week’s blog, I pointed out what Jesus had to say about leaving the gift at the altar and going to the offended brother to make things right. James said this, “Confess your sins to one another” (James 5:16).
    So when you are wrong, it’s important to admit it. Let me give you a couple of helps in how to apologize.

• Be honest. Don’t make false confessions to gloss over a conflict and thereby make for short-term peace. If you did something wrong, admit it, but don’t make up an apology. That’s hypocrisy.
• Be sincere. Never use words like, “If I offended you….” When apologizing, using the word “if” is an automatic eye roller. Every one knows you’re still shirking responsibility. Again, if you did something wrong, say so. “I was wrong. Will you forgive me?”
• Watch your tone. If you apologize with an attitude, again, it’s obvious to those who hear you that you are not sincere. Get rid of the sarcasm, humble yourself, and let your humility come through.
• Take full responsibility. It may be that the person you offended is equally wrong. But that is not your responsibility. By using the word “but” (as many will do– "I shouldn’t have ______ BUT I did because you______”), you are in a sense redirecting the blame to the person you are supposedly apologizing to. Just admit to what you did wrong, and apologize.
• Be committed to change, and say so. It helps to talk a little about what you have learned or what you would do next time. Then, take the necessary steps to make those changes.
• Finally, let it go. There are few things more annoying than hearing a person apologize over and over for the same thing. Whether or not they forgive you is up to them. If you’ve taken full responsibility for your actions, let it go and move on.

    You’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to sin and offend other people. We all do. But when we do, nothing heals, mends fences and builds bridges like a heartfelt apology and expression of love and concern for the person offended. Don’t let pride get in the way. Just say you’re sorry!

Hypocrisy and Forgiveness

    I went into the bank the other day and was struck by the vault being left wide open and unattended, while I was filling out a deposit slip with a pen that was chained to the counter. Does that seem ironic to you? I’m guilty of those little hypocritical gestures….such as ordering a burger, fries, and then a DIET Coke–hahaha. A friend of mine used to leave his new $30,000+ car in the driveway, because his $1,000 camper was taking up the garage space. I could go on and on with things that we do that contradict other things we do. Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes it’s not.
    Like the guy who said he was a Christian and told a church friend, “I will never forgive you for that.”
    Jesus’ harshest words addressed these very things. I don’t know that he would have taken issue with the diet coke and hamburger thing, but when it came to our relationship with him and how it relates to others, he pretty much said, “Live what you say you believe!” “If you’ve been forgiven, you’ll be eager to forgive.”
    Are you?
    John wrote, “Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes” (1 John 2:9–11 ESV). The word for hate is a Greek word that means to disregard, slight, resent. In other words, you can’t be walking with the Lord and at the same time have resentment towards another Christian.
    I know, there’s a bit of hypocrisy in all of us. None of us can claim absolute consistency. But this is pretty serious. Jesus compared religious hypocrites to tombs that were whitewashed on the outside but filled with decaying corpses on the inside. He told his followers to not bother offering sacrifices at the temple (their acts of worship) until you resolve issues between yourself and your brothers and sisters. How we are with each other is a big deal to Him!
    I thought of this the other day seeing Bible verses and spiritual proclamations posted on Facebook by someone I know has ongoing resentment towards other believers. The epitome of Christian faith is based on our entering into God’s forgiveness, and thereby passing it on to others. John was pretty straightforward: we’re not in fellowship with God if we are out of fellowship with His other children.
    I’ll probably keep ordering a diet coke to wash down my greasy burger and fries. But I pray to 
the Lord that I do not blaspheme his forgiveness with an unwillingness to pass it on to others, especially my brothers and sisters in Christ.
    Have you been forgiven? How apparent is that?