Burning in Hot Laver

    I have a cute video from when our kids were young, that I ran across the other day. I’m not sure how old Junior was but he was explaining to me how he had had to jump from furniture to furniture without touching the floor because it was “hot laver.” I tried to correct him, “You mean hot lava?” But he would have none of it. He knew the word. So he corrected me and slowly mouthed the words, “hot l-a-v-e-r”, thinking I didn’t really know. I tried to explain to him that the word was actually “lava” but it didn’t sink in. He jumped from the couch to the chair to avoid burning up in the hot laver.
    Sometimes we just have our minds made up and refuse to be confused with the facts. I’m guilty of it as well. Now that Junior is grown, I still try to correct him. Earlier today while we argued about the identity of someone in a recent event, he said, “Look up the news story on the internet.” I did to prove I was right. I wasn’t; he was. Bummer!
    While many of these stories can be humorous and I know there is a certain amount of stubbornness in all of us, as a pastor, I have been grieved time and again when trying to help, correct or warn one of the sheep, only to encounter that same stiffened neck and unwillingness to receive correction. In those situations, there almost always is a lot more at stake….and I am never happy about being right in the end.
    In the Book of Proverbs, the major theme is differentiating the wise man from the foolish man. In essence, that is the difference. The wise man is teachable, eager to learn, willing to be admonished. The foolish man, on the other hand, has his stubborn mind made up, thinks he knows it all, and has too much pride to accept correction from anyone else.
    Which one are you?
    And that’s why, as parents, our first duty to our children, while they are still very young, is to establish authority and instill an eagerness to listen to Mom and Dad and learn from them. Children who are rarely corrected are apt to grow into adults who refuse to be corrected. Hence, we train them to be what Solomon warned us against: the fool.
    As I look back over my life so far, pivotal times were precipitated by key conversations with people who cared about me enough to offer correcting advice. I’m glad I began reading Proverbs early in my Christian life and knew enough about how God works to be open to the advice of those wiser than me, even when their words were painful to hear.
    What kind of important corrections have you been turning a deaf ear to? Are you the wise man and eager to have your thinking challenged? Or are you responding with what you are sure is right, “l-a-v-e-r”?

Steve Jobs and Me

    I am surprised by how the death of Steve Jobs has affected me. Celebrities die all the time, and I am saddened with each death, especially when there is a question as to the person’s relationship with Christ. But hearing of Jobs’ death was different for me.
    I’ve been an Apple evangelist since before I knew anyone else who used their products. I bought my first Mac in 1985 (I know––before some of you were born and before most of you thought of using a computer!). I left for a brief stint while Jobs was away from Apple and their product line lost its luster, and at the same time Windows was introduced. Jobs returned to Apple and after being frustrated with all of the issues and crashes on my Windows based machine, I happily returned to Apple when Jobs introduced the  first iMac. I’ve been back ever since.
    I’ve never met Steve Jobs, but I liked him. I watched his biannual Apple keynote addresses, read his biography, and grew concerned when he announced his struggle with cancer. More importantly for Apple, I, along with millions of others, trusted him. We knew that as long as he was in charge of the company, Apple would continue to put forth products made with excellence, that their mistakes would be corrected quickly, and Apple’s high price would be a good value. We trusted Apple because we trusted Steve Jobs.
    When he resigned as CEO of the company last August, Apple’s stock dropped. When he passed away last week, it dropped again. And there is a lot of speculation as to what the future will hold for Apple now that their leader is gone. Will there be the same drive for excellence? Will they continue to value simplicity in the midst of complexity? Will every product continue to be viewed as a work of art?
    I have to admit, I’m a bit concerned about the future of a company I’ve depended on for many years. But that’s not why Jobs’ death bothered me. As I think back, I was 24 and just starting in ministry when I unboxed that first Mac. I bought it to begin producing a ministry newsletter and to design and publish my own advertising materials at a time when doing so was very expensive (the Mac changed that). It was then that I began reading about this young man who had started the company in his garage with a college buddy (Steve Wozniak). As I was starting out in ministry, his courage and charisma were inspirational. And his innovations gave me tools to do far more than I could have without them. While I never knew him, he was kind of like a friend from afar.
    In my mind, Steve Jobs was always a young man. For any of us, losing a friend or a relative causes us to rethink life and death. For me, I know I’m prepared to die. But this has been a reminder to me that that day may come sooner than I think. In fact, I think for all of us, it will!
    I’ve spent the last several days reviewing my goals, making some adjustments, and reconsidering how I spend my days. Steve Jobs changed the world with his passion for bringing technology to the masses. But while ministries such as my own have benefited from his ingenuity, for the most part, the way he impacted the world will have only temporal benefit.
    I/we have so much to offer! We have so much more to be passionate about! There is so much more that we can accomplish!
    I guess you could say that Steve Jobs connected people with technology. Here at The Bridge, we get to connect people with God! Having stock in that mission will pay dividends for all eternity!

Road Rage

    Maybe you are guilty of it. Most of us have gotten pretty angry at least once with some self-centered driver cutting off others and endangering everyone while trying to shave off 30 seconds or so of his or her commute. I’ve had to do a fair amount of confession myself after my angry reaction to roadway narcissists. But this guy down in Corbin, Kentucky takes first prize in my book. Not so much because of what he did, but look at the circumstances.
    Clyde White of Corbin, Ky., was charged with attempted murder this last August after police arrested him after a road-rage chase that reached speeds of over 100 mph. White, who had repeatedly rammed his two siblings in their vehicle, is 78 years old, and in that other vehicle were his brother, 82, and his sister, 83 (according to The Lexington Herald-Leader, 8-30-2011).
    I’m not sure what it was that got him so upset. Maybe it was just left-over sibling rivalry that they had never grown out of. But at 78 years old ramming your eighty  something brother and sister while traveling a hundred miles an hour? Wow! There’s a lot of anger there! I wonder how the three of them are doing now. It’s pretty hard to repair a relationship after an incident like that…and they don’t have a lot of time left to do so. Pretty sad.
    Out of control anger gets us in more trouble than we care to admit. Some of you grew up in broken homes because one of your parents (or both) could not….or I should say, would not…control their anger. Some of you are divorced today because you let your anger get the best of you (and are still excusing it). Some of you have lost jobs, ended what could have been valuable friendships, and have injured your children for life, all because of anger. Oh, sure, but yours is justified. After all, they make you angry!
    Let’s be honest. No one can make anyone else angry. Anger, whether the volcanous (I think I made that word up) “blow-up” kind or the seething bitter “clam-up” kind, is almost always sourced in our own selfish demand to get our way, or at least to get others to see our way. And while leaving a trail of broken relationships, you shift the blame to others and defend your angry actions because you “have a right” to be mad!
    Good thing Jesus didn’t do that or we’d all be lost forever. Listen to what Paul said about the one who we claim to be our example:

“Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His own advantage. Instead He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave, taking on the likeness of men. And when He had come as a man in His external form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death—even to death on a cross” (Philippians 2:3–8 HCSB).

    Meditating a little on that passage will put a quick end to your road rage. Better yet, it might save your marriage, your kids, your job and your friendships.

Do You Work Out?

    Do you work out, run, lift weights, walk, bike, or otherwise get a good dose of exercise? I hope so! If you are not exercising regularly, starting and sticking with it will change your life! Mayo clinic recently put out a report on regular physical exercise, listing seven benefits (controls weight, combats health conditions and diseases, improves mood, promotes better sleep, puts the spark back into your sex life, and can be a lot of fun!)
    Paul says that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19), and that they belong to God. That alone ought to tell us that we have a responsibility to take care of the temples He indwells. It’s a part of our worship. We do not honor him by letting such a wondrous part of His creation deteriorate without our care. Getting and staying physically fit is important. Paul did say, “….bodily exercise profits…” (1 Tim. 4:8 NKJV). There is value in exercise. But if you know that passage in 1 Timothy, you’ll see right away that I left out key components. In its entirety it says, “For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come” (1 Timothy 4:8 NKJV). I believe in physical exercise, which takes discipline. But far more importantly, I want to talk about spiritual exercise, or what we call, “spiritual disciplines.” In the verse just before this, Paul said to Timothy, “Exercise yourself (meaning to train or discipline) toward godliness.” Like physical fitness, spiritual fitness takes discipline and work. But the payoff is really worth it!
    Using Mayo Clinic’s benefits of physical exercise, let’s see how they compare to spiritual exercise.
    Exercise controls weight. A friend once said, “I don’t work out because if I did, I’d get more hungry, and then I’d wind up eating too much and gain weight!” Obviously, he was being sarcastic….poking fun at his own laziness. We all know that exercise burns calories, hence lessens physical weight. Spiritual disciplines (reading God’s Word, focused prayer, acts of love and service for others, corporate worship in the Body of Christ) does as well. There is something about spending concentrated time alone with God, as well as serving others selflessly, and worshipping God corporately, that lightens our load, alleviates our worries, and unburdens our thinking.
    Exercise combats health conditions and diseases. It builds the body’s immune system, as do spiritual disciplines, which gives us the weaponry to feign off temptation and the attacks of Satan.
    Exercise improves mood. When I am helping a depressed person, I immediately get them on a regimented sleep and eating schedule, and get the exercising daily. Exercising gets our juices flowing and elevates dopamine (the pleasure chemical in the brain) making us feel better. I can’t tell you how many times I have struggled emotionally and spiritually, knowing I needed to intense alone time with God. After getting away with Him for a while, I am always refreshed in every way!
    Exercise promotes better sleep. There are a number of reasons for this, not the least of which is it just plain tires us out and gives our bodies the desire for sleep. But spiritual disciplines do more to give me a good night’s rest than anything else. I can wake up in the night with cares and worries just like everyone else. I learned a long time ago that the quickest way back to sleep is to pray! If it was God waking me up, He must want my attention, so I pray. If it’s the devil waking me up, He’s not too pleased with how I’m using my time so he lets me go back to sleep. Reading your Bible before bed, praying through a list of people you care about, as well as your own concerns, is like unloading the worries of your mind and giving them to God, allowing you to sleep in peace.
    Exercise puts the spark back into your sex life. Sorry, I’ve got nothing for this one! Hahaha!
    Finally, Mayo Clinic says that exercise is fun. You never think of discipline in any area to be fun, but it is. The happiest people I know are disciplined people. The most frequently depressed and miserable people I know, are slaves to their own feelings and passions. And essentially, that’s what discipline is, it’s overcoming our feelings and doing what we know we should do, instead of what we feel like doing. God has a way of delivering His peace and joy to those who discipline their lives to focus on Him and are following though with serving Him. In the end, spending time with God, obeying Him, and caring for others is the way to a fulfilled and happy life.
    Do you exercise? I hope so. But more importantly, I hope you exercise your spiritual life. Paul told Timothy it has benefits for today that last into eternity!

Are Your Habits Helping or Hurting?

    In “Tale of Two Cities”, Charles Dickens tells the story of a physician who was imprisoned in a French penitentiary for twenty years. Unable to practice medicine, but wanting to keep himself useful and occupied, he took up the trade of shoe cobbler while incarcerated, making and fixing shoes for his fellow inmates. For twenty years, he could be heard working away in his cell late at night, tapping away, repairing the shoes of prisoners. Finally, during the French Revolution, he was set free to go home and return to medicine. But the doctor could not handle the change and his new freedom. Returning to his home, he had a servant build a room in his attic identical in size to his prison cell. In the years leading to his death, neighbors could hear him tapping away, making and repairing shoes late at night, never to return to medicine.
    The fact that we are creatures of habit is a good thing. It enables us to be far more productive, and to accomplish many more things than we otherwise could. If we had to think through everything we do daily, we would be hindered in so many ways. But the vast majority of things that we do, we do on autopilot. I’m not thinking at all about the locations of the keys on this keyboard as I am typing. If I had to think about where each letter was located and which finger I would use to type it, this blog would take me hours to finish. As it is, while thinking through some concepts and doing research for what I write, may take a fair amount of time, typing it takes only a few minutes. I’m typing by way of habit and muscle memory. It’s how most of our accomplishments in life come about. We do the busy work by habit, freeing our minds and creative processes to function efficiently.
    But habit can also become a curse. Addictions, habitual life dominating sins, angry reactions to others, etc., are a struggle for us to overcome because of that same tendency for repeated behaviors to become ingrained in our lives as habit. In this case, a man lost not only his years while in prison, but all the years afterward because he could not release himself from the twenty year prison mentality that developed in his mind. Pretty sad.
    Maybe that’s your struggle. The Bible declares that those who are in Christ have been released from the guilt and the reality of their past. Paul says that we are “dead to sin.” But we have trouble getting out of the routine of that old way of living. Changing habitual behavior is hard. Changing a habitual way of thinking is harder still. So in Romans, Paul told the believers to consider their old way of living to be dead, and their new way of living to be life. He said, “You also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (Romans 6:11–12).
    Having become followers of our Savior Jesus Christ, we are to consider our old ways of sin, those old nasty habits, to be dead, enabling the power of Jesus’ resurrection to give us a new way of thinking and behaving. You don’t have to be imprisoned any longer! You can become what God initially intended you to be! You’ve been freed! Now live the life of freedom.

What Do You Get Out of Church?

    Yesterday was bill paying day. Isn’t that fun? Hahaha! Actually, with modern technology, I’ve taken a lot of the work out of it. I pay pretty much all of it online, and have as many automatic payments going out as possible. But Linda and I still sit down every two weeks and review our budget, look at the amounts of the checks going out (or auto-withdrawals) and make sure the payments are in line with the bills. While we’ve gone paperless and automatic, it still requires our regular attention. When we finished and I closed the budget spreadsheet, I was in a whiny mood. Who likes sending money out…paying bills?
    But then a thought came to me, as though it were a rebuke from the Lord. “Look at all you get for what you pay!” I have a warm house in the winter; a cool house in the summer. I have two reliable cars, also with heat and air, and I don’t have to feed them! We turn a knob and we get our choice of hot or cold water. We turn another knob and we have fire to cook our food over. We have a cupboard full of food, as well as a fridge full of perishable food that is kept from spoiling (and I never have to chop ice to make it work). We have clean clothes that wash relatively easily, and likewise with our clean dishes. We have access to the world through high speed internet, as well as with a crystal clear image on a television that beams images from around the world in real time.
    You know I could go on and on. The fact that we can take hot showers whenever we want is something we rarely give a grateful thought to, but also something few people in all of history have been able to enjoy. Thinking about these things, and consciously thanking God for the blessings that come from our bills, takes the sting out of paying them. When I remember, I take it a step further and pray for those who may be blessed or whose needs may be met, partially through the bills I am paying. All of a sudden, a distasteful task actually becomes enjoyable.
    Nothing worthwhile comes free. You pay bills because you have much to be thankful for! In fact, the level of satisfaction from any activity or enterprise is directly related to the level of sacrifice made on its behalf. Vince Lombardi said, “I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle-victorious.”
    This blog is not so much about paying bills, though I hope it helps your approach to that. But I want you to think about what you get out of church. I’ve heard so many people, leaving really good churches, saying things like, “Well, we just weren’t getting fed.” Sometimes they see me roll my eyes :-). If you have been a believer for any length of time, you shouldn’t be going to church to get fed, anyway! You should be going to feed others! If you’ve been a Christian for more than a couple of years, you will only get out of any church what you put into it. Long-term satisfaction in a church is like anything else, it comes by way of sacrifice. People who sacrificially serve others in their church, with genuine love, enjoy their churches. It may not make logical worldly sense, but those who are not paying attention to what they get out of something, but are more concerned about what they are giving, they get more out of it! This isn’t my principle, this is Jesus’ (Acts 20:35).
    You get what you pay for! How much are you getting out of church? The better question….what sacrifices are you making to serve others through your church? The answer to that question will determine the answer to the one before it.

Do Friendships Matter?

    I enjoy reading. I’m usually in the middle of 2-3 books at a time. I tend to read a fiction or biography, a ministry or leadership related book, and some kind of a personal or devotional book, simultaneously. I’m currently reading a book about a gambling addict and how it destroyed his life and the lives of others (hence last week’s blog), a secular book on leadership and teamwork, a book on the church and global outreach, as well as rereading C.S. Lewis’s “Mere Christianity.”
    I thought about this long-standing practice of mine (since college days) and how it gives me a sense of balance in my life. At no time am I “totally into” just one way of thinking or the opinion of one author. Reading a broad range of material keeps me thinking for myself, and keeps me balanced. (Though whether or not I am ever “in-balance” is up for debate ☺).
    I try to do that with friendships as well. Many years ago, someone suggested, “You should always have a Barnabas, a Silas, a Timothy, and a John Mark.”
    Barnabas was a mentor to Paul. He took him in when he first became a believer and taught him, introducing him to other Christian friends as well. Silas was a peer. While Paul was the leader of the ministry, he and Silas were on the same level spiritually and as friends. They enjoyed each other's company. Timothy was a disciple of Paul (Paul was Timothy’s mentor as Barnabas had been to him). Paul encouraged Timothy, taught him, and told him to follow his example. Then there was John Mark. He was a project. He frustrated Paul (caused division between he and Barnabas)  and waffled between giving him grief and showing him promise. In the end, Mark came around for Paul, but in the early days, Paul was pretty frustrated with him, but he never gave up, altogether.
    We all need that kind of balance in our friendships.
    Do you have a Barnabas? Do you have a mentor, someone you look up to as a committed Christian who is an example to you? Do you have someone in your life who is “ahead of you," so to speak, who can give you good Biblical advice for your marriage, raising kids, job, etc., and maybe confront you when you need a loving rebuke?
    Do you have a Silas? A good friend with whom you just enjoy hanging around with, and someone who is positive peer pressure, who loves God in the way you do, encouraging you in your walk with Christ?
    How about a Timothy? Do you have a younger Christian or maybe a seeker whom you are intentionally leading by example, as well as words. Nothing helps us grow more rapidly than our helping others to grow.
    What about a John Mark? We all need a project or two (NOT more than that!) of those who might be frustrating and inconsistent, sometimes resistant, but someone we can invest in and bring to Christ or help grow. The difference between Timothys and Marks are in their response. Timothys are a joy! They listen, learn, and consistently grow. Marks are frustrating. They go up and down, back and forth. But they need us more than Timothys do, and both help us in our spiritual growth, giving us an opportunity to be like Jesus.
    If you have all Barnabases and Silases, you aren’t serving people and will accomplish little with your life. But if you have all Timothys and Marks, you’ll burn out and get discouraged. You need a good balance of all four.
    I don’t think it's healthy to have too many friends or too few. What we need is a good balance of the right kinds of friends. That has to be done on purpose. I’d encourage you to determine who you will invest time in, and make it a healthy balance among those who feed you, and those you are feeding. It’ll make all of your relationships a lot more meaningful!